Wednesday, July 15, 2015

The Writer

As I was in the car today these words came to me (no I was not driving), so I started to write them down. They turned into a bit of a conversation I was having (and have been having) with God about who He has called me to be in this life. And even though I am fully aware that I will wear different titles, I'm starting to finally realize that writer is one of them.



Writing...

I'm not great with words.

I'm not.

Or at least that's what I've always spit out at myself. I would say to myself, when I write it's boring, when I speak in front of people I stammer and lose my train of thought. 

I am not good with words. 

But what blogging has taught me is that I'm not confident with my words

I underestimate my writing ability and when I jump up in front of a group to speak I suddenly become paralyzed and completely lose my confidence. 

I shake, rattle, and roll all over myself until I can no longer get a handle on what will flow out of me. I'm so nervous that my body is trembling all over. 

What if they don't like me? What if I have nothing important to say? What if I simply can't find my words?

But then I fall into The Word and even though I'm not good with my words, The Word is all the confidence I need. 

He wraps himself around me, holds me so tightly and whispers in my ear all the things I need to hear. 

You are lovely. Fearfully and wonderfully made. I know this because I made you, just like I created the universe. Each hair upon your head, I know it. There has never been a time I've left you and there never will be. Don't fear the other opinions, you have me. And me is all you need.   

His whispers delight me and remind me that I am His so I don't need to feel my words slipping because my words don't even matter. It's Him. His Word that will elevate me to new heights

I humble myself before Him. My Lord and my Savior. I adore every ounce of Him. 

So even when I am wordless, He calls me worthy. And even if I don't see myself as a writer, He is writing on me daily. I'm listening. Open to all He has for me because when I put myself aside and surrender to Him, my dreams are suddenly within reach. 

I never knew this was who I was suppose to be but He has changed my heart. And all that's in me to be exactly who I was created to be. A reflection of Him. And His love. And His effortless joy. To spread it to those who still need Him. 

My words are never boring or meaningless because it is His Word that comes out of my mouth. He strengthens me to strengthen others and I couldn't be more honored to know that I'm His vessel. His physical discussion to a world lost and wandering. 

So therefore my words could never be without. I remind myself this as I sit down to write. I am not accidentally here. I am perfect in His sight. 

You were never meant to write without me, but through me, you are a writer. That's how I created you inside and out. Your design, from the beginning, was to have a voice. There is no other choice for you. Everything has already been paid for and decided. There's no use in fighting it.

I am a writer.

And my words will be great because the voice He gave me is powerful. Filled with life everlasting. Straight from Him. He has called me, daughter, come to me and step into your destiny. From this day forth your life will forever be changed.

I am a writer...in His name.
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