Monday, August 3, 2015

Surrender

When I first became a Christ follower I would consistently hear snippets of this word...Surrender. And to be honest, I just didn't get it. What do you mean surrender? Surrender what? The entire idea was so strange to me.

For me personally, when put into context, I assumed it meant "to give up" because that's what the movies always made it seem. We surrender the battle (we give up our ability to win). And when you look up the definition it actually says, " to cease resistance to an enemy or opponent and submit to their authority."

Now this seemed even stranger to me because in my newly found walk with God, I did not see Him as an enemy or opponent. However, I am not fully sure I saw Him as my authority either. I think in my beginning walk I saw Him more as a buddy or pal, rather than my Lord and Savior. And that was where I was completely missing the mark. 

So my first thought then was to surrender all the bad stuff I was acquainted with. The things that were unhealthy for my life and my growth as a person and as a Christ follower. Alright Lord, I surrender all this bad behavior to you. But I was still missing the mark. 


I remember driving in the car one day with my new stack of Christian CDs that I just purchased from the local Christian Bookstore, thinking I had it all figured out because now I was not only living a Christian life, but listening to Christian music. So I was a stud of course. Then this song came on as my CD's tunes filled the air, and my world was flipped in a way that has truly changed me.

Surrender my dreams?

But why would you call me to do that? These tidbits and excitable images have been floating around in my brain for years. I've been composing them like a symphony and just as I'm ready to hand them over to the conductor, you want me to give them up?? Why?

And then this sweet, sweet verse floated in my hands,

"Trust in the Lord with ALL of your heart
and lean not on your own understanding."

It finally hit me like a stack of bricks. How was I ever supposed to trust God if I was holding on so tightly to the dreams that I had cultivated? The dreams that I so desperately needed to be in control of. God has given me a higher calling, a higher purpose in life. But how am I suppose to live that out if I am constantly trying to run the show on my own. 

I felt comfort for the first time in surrendering to Him because His Word told me this,

"For I know the plans I have for you.
Plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future."

So I did something crazy that day in the car. I surrendered a small piece of who I thought I was and accepted into my heart a real piece of who God created me to be. The two were intensely different. And I had to start looking at life from a different vantage point from then on out. But it has so deeply changed me for the healthier. The stronger. 

It also brought me into a closer relationship with God. 

In being married for the past year and a half now, I'm seeing this line up in a separate way through my married life. I surrender the single bits of me that needed to do everything on my own, to my husband, and our relationship grows intensely deeper with each other.

It is the same, if not even more so with God. Every time I surrender something to Him, we grow closer, more intimate. And there is nothing like having an intimate relationship with the creator of the universe. People will fail you, but God is Sovereign.

So what then, came of my surrendered dream? God handed me a new one. Deep desires I never even knew existed because I had so deeply buried them under the muck of self control. Pieces of me that, once released, quenched full arenas of my soul that I did not even know were desperately parched. I started to feel whole for the very first time in my life.

What I realized in that exact moment was God truly does know more about my inner most workings and desires than I will ever truly understand. And if I surrender what I think I want or need to Him, He will return depths to me I never knew existed. But truly renew my spirit daily.

I've also learned recently that this is not a one time deal. The more you surrender to Him, the more He will ask of you (and the bigger the item will become). But I hold steadfast to Him who has so profoundly changed my limited existence and transformed my destiny into the mountainous projectory it has become.

Surrendering is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I've wept buckets of tears over some of the things I've "lost" in the past. But my gain has been more fulfilling and plentiful then I had ever imagined. And I will praise His all powerful name for the simple call to just surrender.


Are there things in your life that God is asking you to surrender?
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