Thursday, October 1, 2015

6 Great Tips for an Intentional Marriage // Guest Post by Tiffany King

My incredible friends and readers, I love bringing you quality reads. Whether the words are mine or a friend's, I love to help inspire, encourage, and bring light into your lives. One of the incredible parts about blogging is creating new friendships and I am excited to introduce you to a beautiful new friend with a gorgeous heart for marriage. She put together this lovely list of tips for creating an intentional marriage. Enjoy friends!!

Hello, I am Tiffany, the writer behind In All Things, a faith and lifestyle blog. I am so honored that Danielle has allowed me to come to her space for a bit and share tips on how to be intentional in your marriage. Although I am a little less than a year into this journey, I have picked up quite quickly that if you don't have a plan for keeping your marriage strong, it will begin to fail. It's like if you neglect to brush and floss your teeth, cavities and tooth decay are sure to follow. 

Create a marriage vision 

I think a lot of people go into a marriage with expectations that can be unrealistic and could end up unmet. It's important that you both are on the same page and give your marriage direction. This will redirect you if you find yourselves off track. So sit down with one another and discuss how you envision your marriage to be. Then have "check-ins" to revisit if it's working or not, or if there needs to be improvement. For example, I thought my husband expected me to cook every single day and have our place spotless. Trying to do that daily and work was exhausting (kudos to y'all who have mastered that skill! You're the real MVP!). But little did I know, until we sat and talked about it, that he didn't expect that from me at all! And we don't just talk about our expectations, we also talk about our goals for our marriage and what we want it to look like. Then, we set times when we come together and see how that's working out. This could be every six months, every year, etc.

Create a mission statement

Along the lines of creating a vision for your marriage, it's a great idea to create a list of values and standards you want your marriage to abide by. For example, you can have "we will be a couple who doesn't go to bed angry at one another" or "we will extend grace to one another." This will help you focus on being true to your marriage and keep you accountable. 

Go on dates

Never stop dating each other! And don't just go on dates, plan your dates. It can be so easy for the month to just fly on by due to hectic schedules, commitments and just plain old life. Sit down and plan out your date(s) for the month and then put them on your calendar. If you have children, schedule a babysitter in advance. Treat it as an important meeting, because it is. Try to make the dates a variety of things instead of always going to dinner and a movie. Go mini golfing. Take a trip to a museum or concert. Need free ideas? Head over to Pinterest and they will help you out! Some free dates could be making a new dessert recipe together, hiding out in a fort in your living room, or watching the stars in your backyard or on your patio.

Unplug together

Speaking of dates, plan a getaway every now and then without your phones, laptops, social media, etc. This is perfect during your vacation or staycation. My husband and I actually try to unplug every three months to relax and reignite that flame (I blogged about it here). 

Be best friends

What do you and your best friend do? Do those with each other.  Text each other how your day is going. Tony and I love sending funny memes to each other. But you can tell each other about your day (some share in what the peak and pit of their day is), watch your favorite shows together, or just laugh together.


Finally, pray hard for your marriage, spouse, and yourself. We know that marriage comes from God and that Satan loves to destroy anything of God. So it makes sense that he will try to destroy your marriage. Don't let him. Put on the armor of God (Ephesians 6) and pray that God continues to strengthen your relationship with each other. Pray for anything your spouse struggles with. Pray for what you struggle with. Ask God to show you how to be the  wife or husband your spouse needs. Keep God at the center of your marriage and He will guide you on how to be intentional! 

There are so many ways you can be intentional with your marriage. Does it take work? You bet! But it is work that is so beyond worth it! Let me know your tips for being purposeful in your marriage! 

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