Monday, February 1, 2016

Marriage is Hard

This month is a very special month for me. Not only is it the season of love because of the upcoming February 14th date, but it just so happens to be the month I got married. In exactly one week I will be celebrating 2 years of marriage with my incredible husband. So this month I wanted to spend some time talking about love, marriage, and all that goes along with that.

I also want to spend some time getting more personal with y'all, my amazing readers, so that we can get to know each other a little better. One of the very best parts about having a blog are the opportunities to grow in relationship with those in this community. And I personally want to treasure and build those relationships as we all continue along on this journey.

So in moving more into the realm of personal, if I'm being completely honest right now, I'd have to say that I am extremely tired at the moment. It was a fairly long weekend with a roller coaster of emotions coming out of it. There were amazingly fantastic highs and super rough lows. 

My lows came from the relentless arguing and bickering that seemed to hold my husband and I captive this weekend. The both of us are extremely stubborn and that is fantastically shown when we get into a "heated" discussion. We both want to be right. We both want to win. And because of that desire, neither of us ever win.

My highs came from the opportunities to worship God amongst the chaos, the thrashing waters, the stormy seas. I was able to head out with my Connect Group to Dare to Be, where we had the ability to encounter God in a massive auditorium of women who's hearts were all crying out for the same thing. We all just wanted to be a little closer to Jesus. 

I also was able to spend all day in church on Sunday where my pastor said something that made my heart begin to better understand the situations in my life. First off, my husband and I walked into the building that morning still boiling from another "discussion" we had in the car. (I know we're probably the only couple that does that...argues on the way to church and then walks into the building pretending to be the perfect couple, right?!) 

But as I tried to storm off and head to my ministry, my husband grabbed my hand and said, "Let's pray, so we can move on from this and enjoy our day." He didn't say much in his prayer, but he didn't have to. The peace that surpasses all understanding, entered that space immediately and we were able to continue the day.

Later in the service our pastor said, "God has given you provision that can both bless you and bite you." What he was saying was that God has given us the things in life that we need to be beautifully provided for. Those things were always meant to be a blessing to us. But if we don't keep them within the healthy boundaries set for us by God, they can end up hurting us in the end.

My husband was absolutely put in my life to bless me and I him. I know that for sure. But when the two of us continue to follow our own stubborn wills instead of God's will for our marriage, it truly starts to hurt us in those moments.

We talked about it after service and realized that we are allowing the enemy, to make us enemies, even though we are suppose to be partners. We are allowing the enemy to step right on up and whisper his stubbornness, frustration, and lies right into our hearts. And it needs to stop!

Now I'm not saying that after this discussion we have it all figured out and now we are perfect. Quite the opposite really. This is something we are going to have to work at every single day, because believe me when I say marriage is hard. It is by far the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. 

But it is also completely worth it because I would not want to spend my life with anyone else in the world. My heart is completely wrapped up in everything that my husband is and the man that God is molding him into. 

I know there have been so many times when the couple fighting believes that it is just too hard and they let go because they didn't realize that the enemy they were fighting wasn't their spouse. I want to urge you, if you think I am speaking to you in this moment, your spouse was never meant to be your enemy. And as hard and as frustrating as things can be at times, they need your grace and forgiveness in all areas because that is exactly what God gave you.

I love how Mrs. Clara puts it in the movie War Room when she discusses learning how to fight the right battles. If you have yet to see this movie, stop what you are doing and go buy it right now. It's life changing. But she talks about fighting her battles in prayer instead of fighting with her husband. She could not be more right! We need to start fighting the right battles.

As we begin discussing marriage and love this month, I really want to give y'all some practical steps on how to fight the right battles, scriptures to help you along the way, and invaluable life lessons I've learned throughout this journey. But even more importantly, I want to pray with you. If you and your spouse are struggling through something (big or small), my email is linked on the right side of the page. Please click that button and send me a message so that I can pray with you and encourage you along the journey. There is nothing in the world that would bring me more joy!

And when marriage does get a bit hard, this always reminds me that it is all worth it!

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